The Only Way Over is Through

Life has a way of forcing us to confront the uncomfortable truths we’d rather avoid. In a world that glorifies productivity and resilience, pausing to feel deeply can seem counterintuitive—even indulgent. But what if sitting with our pain, rather than running from it, is the key to true healing? Inspired by the book Mute by Christine Bernard and a reel that struck a chord, this reflection explores the courage it takes to face life’s heaviest emotions. Because sometimes, the only way to heal is to feel.

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Less than an hour into reading Mute by Christine Bernard, I found myself 60 pages deep, lost in thought. It wasn’t just the book that stirred me—it was also a reel that’s been haunting my feed. Its message? Running from uncomfortable emotions feels easier, but healing requires us to sit still and face them head-on.

Avoiding pain often feels like self-preservation. Life doesn’t stop for our struggles, and the fear of falling behind keeps us sprinting from our feelings. But Tyler Perry’s words echo in my mind: “Pain will wait for you until you’re ready to feel it.” The truth is, pain doesn’t disappear. It lingers, waiting for its turn to be acknowledged.

Recently, I’ve asked myself a tough question: “Am I so scared of what others think that I pretend to be someone I’m not?” The answer? Yes. I’ve been apologising for my sadness, masking my anxiety, and pretending I’m fine when, honestly, I’m not. Change is hard for me, and when life veers off track, I struggle.

Last year showed me how much I need to work on self-regulation—a lesson I’m learning, albeit reluctantly, at my “big age.” The world’s advice to “just get on with it” feels like another way to avoid feeling, to keep running. But I’ve realised that my anxiety and my depression are not weaknesses—they’re my superpowers.

Healing requires courage. Feeling everything—the heaviness, the sadness, even the anger—takes bravery. Distraction may dull the pain, but it won’t heal it. Standing still, letting the emotions wash over you, is the harder path. But it’s the one that leads to freedom.

The world won’t stop for our bad days, but that doesn’t mean we can’t. As Michelle C. Clark said, “Don’t feel guilty about needing breaks from a world that was never set up to protect your mental health in the first place.” So I’m done running. I’m choosing to embrace the messiness of my emotions because feeling isn’t weak—it’s transformative.

Some days, the gremlins in my head will try to convince me it’s all too much, but I’ll remind myself: It’s a bad day, not a bad life.

Real life is hard, and that’s okay. There’s no shame in feeling deeply. If you need to cry every day this week, let the tears flow. Feeling is how we heal, and healing is how we move forward.

So, take a breath. Stop running. Feel your way through.

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